Review of the first Twilight film
Piece of Shit Twilight

Just finished watching Twilight and you can colour me unimpressed. I read the books a few months ago and thought them average – apart from the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, which was down-right awful – but the film takes the material of the book and sinks lower.

The two leads do a decent enough job acting, although Robert Pattinson is slightly more believable in his part than Kristen Stewart. The supporting actors seem mediocre, but aren’t really given much screen time to make an impression.

The special effects aren’t anything to write home about, just your standard moving-too-fast-to-see vampire and a few fake looking shots of Edward zooming through the forest or climbing up trees monkey-style with Bella on his back.

For me one major sticking point with the film is that vampires are supposed to be good-looking (it helps to attract their prey) – Edward even says so in the film! – so why are they all so unattractive? The only decent-looking male vamp is the bad guy, James. The only way any of the others would look good is in comparison to me! The female vamps look alright though (with Alice Cullen, played by Ashley Greene, having a little extra cuteness to her). Twilight isn’t a terrible film but nor is it a good film by any stretch of the imagination. To my mind it struggles and just about achieves a “meh”.

If you’ve not read the books and have a couple of hours to kill, and nothing better to do, then by all means check it out or, even better, read the books (or better yet read something from Kim Harrison or Kelley Armstrong both of whom do the whole modern-day vampire/supernatural being genre so much more ably).

If you’ve read the books (and i congratulate you for not causing permanent damage from repeated banging of your head against the wall after reading book 4) then it’s not really worth your time, the books do it (slightly) better.

4.5 / 10

Blog revisit: Twilight

A revisit of an earlier blog post on Twilight
Piece of Shit Twilight